Fantasy

Its amazing how one's fantasies change when they have a special needs child. I day dream daily about the perfect bedroom for Marissa. But I'm not thinking about the color of the walls or the perfect valance or rug...I think about a stackable washer and dryer just for her laundry alone(3++loads per day--keep in mind I have 3other children plus myself and my spouse--oh and my mom lives with us and rumour has it she likes clean laundry of her own as well) Then I imagine a counter top with space underneath for her refrigerator and trash cans(yes multiple) and then installed cabinets above the counter top with door that close to conceal all of the medical supplies. Then I think about the floors, carpet is not an option...I steam clean the carpets in her room right now every.single.day. I want to have wood-look vinyl floors installed. Since we will be renting I will have the flooring ppl roll up and store the carpet in heavy plastic in the garage so that when we move out I can leave the room how it was when we rented it. I also want a ceiling van and an air filter to help with the odor. For anyone who has a child on TPN and lipids you know there is a very distinct odor. I have a hyper sensitive nose but I'm sure anyone familiar would recognise the smell immediately. Even my car smells strongly of TPN. Oh and I want to install a dimmer on the light switch so when I go in and out after she is sleeping to give meds or hook her up or unhook her I can have just enough light to do what I need to do. If we were buying a house Id also like a sink in that counter top and maybe even a small dishwasher---I'm already going to have to get the owner to agree to have a 240volt outlet installed for the dryer and the wall opened up to access pipes for the washer---who knows maybe they will agree to a sink too? I think I will have a contract drawn up for them stating that we will have the room put back to its original form before we move out. I hope I can find a landlord willing to work with us on this. In feeding news....we are doing stage one jarred baby food with digestive enzymes via the infinity pump for 8hours per day at a rate of 30mls per hour with guarded success.....