Home From Palm Springs(lots of rambling)

We spent the weekend in Palm Springs with 110 other glbt parents, a total of 350 ppl. Staying in a one room suite with 4kids from Thursday-Sunday, well it was an adventure! But really it went much more smoothly than I ever thought it could. I remember a time, not so long ago that I was known for my ability to truly pack light...those. days. are. so. over. bottles(and the bottle brushes, dish soap, drying rack) sippy cups, formula, baby food, juice, snacks, spoons, bowls, bibs, diapers, wipes, pull-ups, blankets, toys, camera's, dvd player, dvd's, two packNplays(provided by Rae), a very large and loud stroller---oh and lets not forget the nebulizer, meds, toiletries, 3changes of clothes per day for each child, plus PJ's, swim suit's, towels---and then clothes, shoes, and more of the above for Shana and I. I drive a Chrysler Pacifica, anyone who's ever been in one knows there is ZERO cargo space in that thing. Thankfully the very large and loud stroller rides on a hitch on the back of the car, everything else was carefully packed in and around the 4carseats--there was very little room to breathe...but we made it fit! I talk a lot about buying a larger car, suburban or maybe even a 12pass Savana. BUT, I really really REALLY love my pacifica and I just don't think I can let it go...so for now Im making it work. The event was ok, fun to be with all my friends and made a few new ones along the way. It was great to see how much everyone's kids have grown(those who we don't get to see often, or only at other such events) I didn't get as excited about the fact that this function was composed of other glbt families as I thought I would. Im not sure if its that I didn't have the energy or attention span to notice, or because we live in SoCal and surround ourselves with other families like ours everyday that it just doesn't affect me the same way it once did. I remember the first few years I went to PRIDE(in san diego, long beach, la) I used to get so overwhelmed I would cry. Or the first time I took Olivia to PRIDE(she was 4months old) going into the children's garden I was so excited to be around other families like mine. I think in the build up to create my family I was very focused on it, I would spend hrs on the internet seeking out other couples who had btdt, websites, message boards, photo sites and journals that were written by gay parents. I think now that we ARE a family, and living it---I just don't have as much time to think about it anymore. Real life just took over and the fact that we are a lesbian couple who has children just doesn't seem to be so much a big deal anymore. Now we are just a family. I participate equally with traditional and non-traditional parenting groups, and really it doesn't seem to be so black and white anymore. Sometimes I catch myself and have to stop and remind myself that introducing my family at a moms club parkday might leave some ppl a bit taken aback, but mostly I just feel normal. I used to focus so much on how different being a lesbian made me, or how different Shana and I are as parents because we happen to be lesbians. But now I know we aren't really all that different than anyone else. One of the dads this weekend made a comment that's been floating around in my head ever since. He said: being a gay parent doesn't mean you wont be an average or even a bad parent. Being a gay parent doesn't make you a better parent. Or something like that, but it did make me think about how in many ways we are held to a higher standard than traditional parents, ppl notice and we are many times being stereo-typed. If we are a lesbian couple and have a son who is more sensitive, isn't so into trucks cars and trains, and might happen to rather play tea party---well then its because they don't have a strong male role model. Likewise, if we have a daughter who wouldn't dream of wearing a dress, or prefers those trucks, cars and trains--well then we are influencing them to be "butch" If our children suffer from peer pressure, or grow up to have behavior problems, or act out it must be because they are so emotionally affected because they have gay parents. Getting back to the event here, the food was horrible. I think we ate out more meals than we had planned. I was very disappointed in the limited options which included: cold cuts the first night, pizza the next, and the long anticipated family BBQ turned out to be Albertson's chicken(cold) and left over potato and macaroni salad(warm) from the first nights cold cuts(ok maybe it wasn't actually left overs, but may as well of been) The kids games were cute, Rae got many great pics from the parachute play(which all the kids loved),making bead necklaces, and each kid got a coloring book. They also had a movie night, they projected Shark Tail on a large bed sheet hung off a balcony and everyone layed out on blankets to watch--well everyone but us because our kids(mine, Rho's and Maggie)thought it would be more fun to run around in from of the movie screen until we ended up giving up and going into one of the rooms to play. Sunday we packed up our cars and drove out to the Living Desert in Palm Desert. It was HOT, so hot that most of the animals were in their dens. Still it was a good time, and the scrap book pages will be cute! The batteries in my camera went out the first day, and I didn't manage to replace them so all pictures are on Rae's camera. Im sure when she gets a chance she'll post them to her blog! Well its 12:20 and Olivia is awake wanting to "gee" did I mention my FORTY ONE month old is still nursing? That's 3yrs and 6months, I maintain my commitment to child-led weaning....mostly.